Saturday, September 15, 2007

Music and my Childhood

Without exception, all the music I listened to was determined by
Aaron. We had rooms right next to each other in the basement at this
period in my life, so every song he played I would hear. It began with
R.E.M.'s Nightswimming in middle school (it was the first song that ever touched
me--EVER. I had never listened to music for fun before that point in my
life. In fact, my first story was inspired by Nightswimming, and strangely
enough, has elements that I recreated in the book I started 10 years
later. And no, I didn't do it on purpose, it's just the way my imagination
works, I guess.)

This is Smashing Pumpkin's Muzzle from their Melon Collie and Infinite Sadness album. At the time it seemed like music to me, but now it sounds mostly like a chicken in its last death throws (maybe even after the head's been chopped off). **Note: There's always exceptions, of course, and a few songs I would still listen to.

I think if I wrote the lyrics to song it made me feel like part of the song.

Matthew Sweet's Sick of Myself. I had a crush on a beautiful girl that lasted for 6 years. It started in 7th grade. Kim Moulder was in my class, and I was totally in love from the moment I saw her. I was a really shy boy, but I was determined to ask her out. Day by day I conquered my fears. Word by word, gesture by gesture, conversation by conversation. It was not unusual for me to not say a word throughout the day because of my nervousness. But I loved Kim Moulder, and so help me, I was going to be social and ask her out. I think it ended in 7th grade with a friend of mine doing a stupid trick and asking her out for me (or calling her or something) and of course it ended in disaster. I thought that was the end but then in 8th grade I had a class with her again and we sat right next to each other, you know, alphabetically. Not sure I spoke to her much then, but I found out I still liked her--a lot. When high school came and I had a class with her again I started conquering my social barriers--which was really hard, and really slow, and wasn't always successful. But as it turned out by 12th grade we were good friends, even if not boyfriend/girlfriend, and by the time we graduated it could probably have developed into that had I wanted to push it. But I didn't. Nevertheless, I can honestly say that it took more gall for me to become her friend on a daily basis than any other endeavor or act or series of acts, that I have ever encountered. I attribute much of my success to my ability to conquer my fears of failure than to any talent, gift, or god-given opportunity.

If you ever read this, Kim, just know that I'm very grateful and would like to hear from you and see how you're doing. I'd like to help you out the same way you helped me...or at least just thank you for being my friend and helping me through a hard time in my life.

OK! Enough deep stuff. This is R.E.M.'s You and Me.

Cranberries. For some reason I always think of the first Diablo game whenever I hear Cranberries...I guess I must have listened to it a lot as I busted some head...

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